Monday, March 24, 2008

STRANGE HOLIDAY

I woke up Sunday morning with no way to hold my head that didn’t hurt. For some strange reason I couldn’t quit thinking about Kris Kristofferson and Johnny Cash.
But it was Easter, and I could smell bacon frying, so I thought I’d get up and give it a try.

“What’s for breakfast?” I asked the little woman as I stumbled into the bathroom.

“Bacon & eggs”, she said, disappearing back down the hall with an armload of dirty clothes.

When I caught up to her in the kitchen there was bacon…and biscuits… on the counter, but that’s all.

“Where’s the eggs?” I grumbled.

She looked up from the paper for a moment and said “Outside. You gotta find them.”

Not being one to be contrary, I took the little wicker basket she handed me, grabbed a piece of bacon for the trip, and sauntered out the back door to gather up my morning meal. There were some in the half whiskey barrel. Some in the opening to the pool skimmer. Some more under the lid to the grill.

I brought in my booty and tossed it into the trash, washed my hands and made a bacon and cheese sandwich.

“Not gonna eat ‘em?” she asked.

Funny. They were blue and green and red, with little stripes across them in various other colors. And they were dirty.

“You’re not s’posed to do that with scrambled eggs.” I told her, as something out the kitchen window caught my eye.

I walked out the front door, then around to the side yard, and there was a rabbit, just sitting there. As I got within 10 feet or so, it scampered off under the neighbor’s outbuilding. But, it left behind something there where it had been sitting. A white, spherical object there in the grass I mowed yesterday.

“No way.” I said out loud, walking toward it.

Nope. Don’t tell the youngins, but rabbits don’t lay eggs. Even on Easter.

It was a ping pong ball one of the kids down the street had been playing with yesterday. No chocolate inside or nuthin’. I guess the rabbit just stopped there by chance. What are the odds? Ruined my whole morning.

Later, surfing through the TV channels from my favorite prone position on the couch, I came across a special holiday presentation of “The Ten Commandments”.

On Easter? Really?

That didn’t make much sense to me. Do you think the program director for that channel had any idea what he was doing? I wondered if the special holiday presentation of “The Odyssey” was coming on next.

That Charlton Heston sure made a good looking Moses, though, didn’t he? I noticed that, all through the movie, there were no guns hanging from his warm, live fingers. If he would have had one then, he could have done a number on that Pharo and his boys. They really must not have known who they were messing with – kind of like the program director, I guess.

It got me to thinking that holidays sure are strange times. And that brought my headache back. So I went back to bed.

Monday, I got fried eggs at Waffle Hut. They were white and yellow, just like eggs are supposed to be.

2 comments:

br549 said...

did your wife really hide scrambled eggs?

Anonymous said...

OK I get it.
This is another one of those attacks by the liberal media on Christianity. For your information Jesus feasted on rabbit and eggs at the last supper and thats where he wrote the ten commandments. Thats how all those things come together. So take that.