Sunday, March 01, 2009

Somebody tell them they lost

Isn’t it strange how long it takes to create anything
compared to the time it takes to destroy it? You can
take a lifetime building a home, for example, and come
back from a weekend at grandma’s to find it all reduced
to a pile of ashes. Just like that.

One of the very few things you can be sure of in this
world is that everything comes to an end. Everything.

Now, it appears that all of the economic prosperity the
good ol’ US of A built up during those eight wonderful
Bush years has, in a period of under two months, been destroyed by that evil Barack Obama. I mean, that’s the way it sounds, listening to the Republican’s talk. They’re not arguing that everything wrong with this country is his fault – just the stuff that wasn’t screwed up by Bill Clinton and, before him, Jimmy Carter. Apparently, the economy was plumb rosy before November ’08, but now it’s swirling around, counter-clockwise in the bowl under the porcelain throne.

Big Business is blowing gaskets, laying people off, slashing wages, closing facilities. Wall Street looks more like downtown Saigon in the days of the evacuation. Sean Hannity, self-appointed leader of the “conservative underground”, is preaching the end. Woah is us.

Saturday, Rush Limbaugh spoke to nine thousand rabid “conservatives” at the “Conservative Political Action Conference”. That one speech alone will have a profound influence on repairing the broken economy, because, most likely, all of those people will have to undergo knee surgery from jumping to their feet, screaming & clapping, every time their guru made some nasty insulting remark about liberals, in general – or about the “liberal media”, which the Bloated One refers to as the “drive-by media”. That should generate a lot of money for doctors & hospitals.

The top dog in that drive-by media, CNN, carried the hour and twenty minute speech live, without commercial interruption. How one-sided of them.

Anybody, such as myself, who put themselves through the torturous ordeal of watching the entire spectacle (I had my wife tie me to a chair, facing the TV, and tape my eyelids open) can take away from it that the reason the conservatives lost the presidential election was that they have not behaved “conservatively” enough. That might be an astounding revelation to some, but I spend a lot of time listening to this guy on the radio, so I already knew that.


Limbaugh defended and re-asserted this hope that President Obama “fails”. That, you see, is how conservatives show their patriotism – declaring (in a time of war!) that they want the president of the United States of America to fail. So, the president’s attempts to straighten out this terrible economic mess (the one he single-handedly created since January 20) needs to crash & burn. More businesses can shut down. More people can lose their jobs and their homes. Maybe some of them can even starve to death. Wouldn’t that be swell? After all, people deserve to suffer for allowing this country to elect somebody who doesn’t agree with Limbaugh and the rabid Neocons. That’ll show us, by golly.

It is more than a hope, however. They know that Obama’s stimulus package won’t work. Somehow, they have been imparted with this knowledge, either by their Creator, or by His representatives here on Earth – Limbaugh, Hannity, Coulter - the Republican Trinity. The answer, they proclaim, is to do exactly what GWB did during his terms….only more. Those of us who were under the false impression that Bush’s policies are what brought us to this edge of depression, were blindly led here by the media. Everything was fine all along, until now. What fools we were to believe what we read in the papers and saw on TV; what we saw with our own eyes and felt in our own stomachs. There is no truth other than what is preached on talk radio. Obviously. Even CNN must have come to that realization just prior to airing that loveable little fuzzball’s sermon to the choir. Conservatives are the chosen ones. The master race. They will prevail!

Makes sense. Most of the individuals who control big business are, by definition, conservatives. If you’re the top dawg, raking in all the money, why would you want anything to change? If you’re the top dawg, you have some control over that. You can lay off people, cut wages, and shut down facilities to help bring about an expeditious end to this foolishness and get somebody back in office who’ll look out for the big guy. Big guys need friends too. Even if your business isn’t hurting, it is your duty as a fat cat to help out your fat cat brethren. Do this now, for the cause, and you will be rewarded when things return to “normal”. Rush said he just wanted it to be like it was when he was a kid. You know, back when black folk weren’t allowed to vote.

Sorry about the mixed animal metaphors. I couldn’t decide which one I liked better.

Liberals have many enemies: hunger, homelessness, despair, inequality, ignorance and greed, to name a few. Conservatives have but one: liberals. So who has the easier fight ahead of them?


(c) 2009, Rick Baber
http://www.rickbaber.com/

9 comments:

otisj said...

Yes. You are going to catch it from the conservatives. They don't believe they or their heros can do anything wrong. You better get ready Rick.

Anonymous said...

I have not laughed as hard...I can't remember the last time ...and I know you were steaming mad when you wrote this. It took me three phone calls and four reads to get past the scenario of you tied to a chair with your eyelids duck-taped open to finally read the entire article. Rushbo's speech was surreal. In fact, it was a total farce. His speech was so filled with irony from such statements as "the sexism, the bigotry that we (the conservatives) are charged with...doesn't exist on our side" and wanting America to return to "normal" as when he was a child. I can't believe these people are reacting as if Satan himself has been let loose on the populace...and to top it off, the $40 million man was awarded CPAC's annual "Defender of the Constitution Award"!

Well done Ricky, well done.

-SC

Hammerman said...

This is how the republic party (if they can call us the democrat party...) operates. They always have a shadow leader they take their marching orders from. Since Dick Cheney has been rendered insignificant they had to find somebody else who could spew out their real agenda without being held accountable. Who better than the hitleresque Limbaugh for that job? They think he is untouchable. The problem is that he's getting so much mainstream attention that he will ultimately become the GOP's frontrunner, and eventually - probably in 2012 - he will be their candidate. His job until then is to bring as many borderline nutcases all the way over to rightwing insanity as possible. To him and his minions Liberals are what Jews were to Hitler, something to be eliminated one way or the other. Most people have enough faith in Americans to think we could never be manipulated by a madman like that. I don't.

Anonymous said...

Here you go again with your liberal bullshit. Democraps were in charge of congress for the last 2 years of Bush's term when the stock market started to crash. It has gone down over 2000 points since the messiah took office. Who is causing all the economic trouble? Easy. Obama and the liberals!

Rick Baber said...

Anon (nice handle, by the way),
Find out something about how laws are made before you go merrily about talking out your ass.

br549 said...

russ slimeball is a traitor
thats pretty much all there is to it

otisj said...

I love the 3rd video Rick. Who are the Nazis now?
Do you know who the artist is?

Anonymous said...

hey Rick! you should read the article i posted on facebook - it's written by a (former)republican who can't stand what the conservatives have done and are continuing to do.

Glad to find out you have a blog! I'll check it out more often now! You should also "drive by" the freethinker blog occasionally, too...

betsy

Rick Baber said...

Betsy. I read it. It is great.

Otis. It's a group called "Clan Dyken", from Hawaii, I think.