1. Let Batesville Guard readers know that “Purity” is my best book so far, and that a .PDF download can be ordered, really, really cheap at RickBaber.com, using almost any Debit or Credit Card, or PayPal.
2. Work on formatting “Purity” for paperback printing, Ipad and Kindle.
3. Call Pablo to mow the yard again, because I never got around to calling the lawn mower fixer guy.
4. Check with June, next door, to see if she has Pablo’s number. I can’t find it.
5. Buy some sticky notes, so I can leave them on June’s door when she’s not home.
6. Call the lawn mower fixer guy.
7. Look for wallet. Lawn mower fixer guy’s number is in there.
8. Dig through the trash in the car to see if I can find the money to pay Pablo if he just shows up.
9. Clean trash out of car.
10. Buy some bigger trash bags when I go to pick up the sticky notes.
11. Wash $3.29 in green, sticky pennies, nickels and dimes.
12. Buy some dishwashing soap.
13. Gas up the car when I leave, so I can make it to the store to pick up sticky notes, garbage bags and dishwashing soap.
14. Look for wallet again. Check the laundry hamper.
15. Make hide-a-key place outside front door in case I lock myself out again.
16. Add “new stuff at hardware store to fix the door I had to kick in” to shopping list for after finding wallet.
17. Take shower. Pretty hot to be working outside like this.
18. Call Water Company. Tell them I’ll pay the bill as soon as I find my wallet. Ask if they can just turn it back on long enough for me to wash the soap off.
19. Call Dr. Beeper. Ask what’s the best medicine to use for chigger bites. Also, ask
if he knows how ticks know to get in places you can’t reach to pull them off.
19. Find Jeff Foxworthy’s email address
20. Email the following to Jeff Foxworthy: Suggestion: You might be a redneck if you’ve ever mowed your entire yard with a battery-operated weedeater because you couldn’t find your wallet and the illegal alien you wanted to hire to do it for
you saw the trash in your car and caked-up hair, and didn’t think you were the kind of guy he could trust to owe him twenty bucks.
21. Call Microsoft. Ask them how to fix their stupid auto-formatting thingy that automatically numbers things when you list them.
22. Make new list for tomorrow, in case today doesn’t go as smoothly as expected.
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© 2010, Rick Baber