Tuesday, September 08, 2009


Thank goodness the likes of Glenn Beck and other
great American patriots have warned us about the vast
communist-nazi-Nigerian conspiracy being waged upon
us by Barack Obama and his minions. Without these
ominous warnings, simple-minded people such as myself
would have taken this president at face value, and never
done any serious investigative reporting…like this.

You have heard, no doubt, of subliminal messaging – where your ears and eyes are hearing and seeing one thing, but your brain is registering something else. This can be accomplished in a variety of ways but two simple ones are by transmitting audio signals in a frequency that can be detected by the brain, but not recognized by the ears. Visually, images can flash on a screen so fast that, while you don’t realize you’re seeing them, you do, and they go straight to your memory.

This, my friends, is what this so-called president has planned for your impressionable school children in the “talk” he wants to give them the day after Labor Day. Probably, by the time you read this, it will be too late, because I have only just acquired this privileged information. But, thanks to those aforementioned patriots, and some really sharp school boards, many of those children will have been saved from this indoctrination.

Curious as to what was in this speech, I got online and requested a copy from the White House. Somebody screwed up and sent me a copy of the Master Speech – which includes the subliminal messages that will appear – shown in parentheses. Of course, space limitations preclude me from printing the entire speech, but just this first part will illustrate what was planned for the kids. To wit:

“The President: Hello everyone – how’s everybody doing today? (FLASH picture of Obama, holding hands with Jesus) I’m here with students at Wakefield High School in Arlington, Virginia. And we’ve got students tuning in from all across America, kindergarten through twelfth grade.

I’m glad you all could join us today. (AUDIO: Do drugs. Rebel against your parents.)
I know that for many of you, today is the first day of school. And for those of you in kindergarten, or starting middle or high school, it’s your first day in a new school, so it’s understandable if you’re a little nervous.(AUDIO: The black children are your superiors. Submit to the black children.) I imagine there are some seniors out there who are feeling pretty good right now, with just one more year to go.(FLASH picture of half-naked spring-breakers, partying in Cancun) And no matter what grade you’re in, some of you are probably wishing it were still summer, and you could’ve stayed in bed just a little longer this morning.(AUDIO: You can stay in bed all you want if your parents will vote for Democrats.)

I know that feeling. When I was young, my family lived in Indonesia for a few years, and my mother didn’t have the money to send me where all the American kids went to school (AUDIO: Plant drugs on the rich kids and call the police). So she decided to teach me extra lessons herself, Monday through Friday – at 4:30 in the morning. (FLASH picture of sleepy young children watching a pole dance.)

Now I wasn’t too happy about getting up that early. A lot of times, I’d fall asleep right there at the kitchen table. But whenever I’d complain, my mother would just give me one of those looks and say, "This is no picnic for me either, buster." (AUDIO: Mail your lunch money to me at the White House.)

Fast forward.

But at the end of the day, we can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, and the best schools in the world – and none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities.(AUDIO: Serve Obama. Obama is your only hope.) Unless you show up to those schools; pay attention to those teachers; listen to your parents, grandparents and other adults; and put in the hard work it takes to succeed. (AUDIO: If your parents are against Obama they are demons who must be dealt with.)

And that’s what I want to focus on today: the responsibility each of you has for your education. I want to start with the responsibility you have to yourself. (AUDIO: Taxes are good. Support higher taxes.)”

OK. That’s enough. You get the message. The point is, if you ignored the warnings and allowed your kids to watch the president’s speech, you should get them to de-programming as soon as possible. Just tune into your local AM radio station to find out how.

Also, keep in mind that the Swine Flu vaccine is a CIA-developed serum that will make you succumb to the will of the president, vote to make Nigeria the 51st state, and legalize marijuana and gay marriage.

You’re welcome.

© 2009, Rick Baber


Anonymous said...

yur krazee man krazee!!!

anon101 said...

it is good that they tax the things that make people fat or sick. something has to be done and it is better than taxing all of us for the sins of others.